Good Morning, Highness.
I actually quite like that little excerpt. Feel free to update me on the progress of the story. Though I now feel rather discontented, as my own tattoos are all quite stationary. Definitely no moving around happening there. Would be kinda fun. Lastly, Sachiel is an awesome name.
I officially give up trying to be normal. I know, I know, you never even realized I was trying. But I was. And it was exhausting. So I’m done with it. Boat load of nonsense.
You know what else I’d like to be done with? Optimism. (Hey, look! I can italics!!! and bold!!! and underline!!!) (I really am so very easily entertained.)
You know what the trouble with me is? I see the good in everything. I see the up-side. The silver lining. The glass is half-full. The sun is always shining. There are lollipops and rainbows everywhere and isn’t it magical!?!
Now, to be fair, I think I’ll end up reverting to my characteristic optimism in a minute, but just now I want to focus on all the ways it has ruined my life. (My life is far from ruined. My internal weather is, perhaps, partly cloudy. Whatever. Optimism and hyperbole. Those are my trademarks.)
The trouble with seeing the positive side of everything is that sometimes things just really aren’t as rosy as they appear to be through my rainbows and lollipops-tinted glasses.. Sometimes things are just dumb and wrong and NOT IT AT ALL. But I see the positive, goddammit. Even when it isn’t there. I see the potential. I see how good it could be.
Could be and is are totally different animals.
That dumbass dude I married that one time could have been a decent human. In point of fact, he was not.
How many jobs have I had, boys have I dated, or things have I otherwise involved myself in on the basis of my optimistic perspective only to be disappointed later as the negative reality bore down upon me, squashing my sunshine like a bug while I was smack in the middle of my happiest Pollyanna song and dance number?
I don’t know either. But I think a lot.
I suppose it is only fair to also include mention of all the times when I went ahead and did the thing or supported the person or went to work on the basis of my optimistic perspective and, quite in spite of the odds against me, it turned out great. If I’m being honest, that has happened quite often as well.
Well, what do you know about that? I’ve been attempting pessimism for two minutes and have already failed.
Still, I’d like to be a bit more of a realist. I’d like to stop addressing people and situations entirely on the merit of their potential and start engaging life as it actually is.
Today, life is “clean my house.”
Is it too soon to go back to living in potential?
She Who Has Yet To Be Named
p.s. I quit the job. After one day. Surely that is a record for me. Have you seen that commencement address by J.K. Rowling where she talks about how she had to fail at all the things she was trying to do because those failures are what propelled her toward what she was actually meant to do? I’ve decided that that is what is happening to me. So I might as well start failing faster so I can get there sooner.
p.p.s. When we are rich and famous, I’m pretty sure I want to marry Mike Rowe. Actually, now I think on it, before then would be fine too.
p.p.p.s. I don’t think you are self-centered. You are ‘Best Actress’ material. I am (and prefer to be) ‘Best Supporting Actress.’ This is why we are such a good team. *smooch*