So, I’ve been thinking about your last post a lot. I completely bought into the whole Witness thing, just like you. I cringe now when I think about how sure of myself I was back then, how I knew exactly how the world operated, that Satan was a force to be reckoned with, and that we were the only ones smart enough to figure it all out. (It’s funny that we were taught that almost everyone was going to die with no hope of salvation, but it was okay, because they weren’t going to hell. So, there’s that.)
The only thing I truly miss is the sense of community. (Oh, I don’t mean that part where everyone is watching you, judging you, and waiting for you to fail, that part I don’t miss.) But that if you threw a party, you knew that 40 of your good friends would show up. At a wedding, all 40 of you would dance until they turned the lights up. That part.
I suppose I could go to another church. But, I just don’t think that God really cares whether we go to church or worship in our own way. If there is a God. For me, holiness lies in the ritual of my very early morning coffee, writing in my journal, and reading until my kids wake up. It’s the little things, the tiny moments, I treasure now. For all you think that you’re planning the future and know where you are going, no one has a clue where they’ll be in 5 years, 6 months, or even tomorrow.
It’s very interesting to me that my kids are so different when it comes to belief in God. The Teenager actually has no time for even the idea of God. She believes that there are things we can’t explain, but as for a God that cares what we are doing everyday – no. The Boy, on the other hand, prays every night and asks endless questions about heaven and hell, good and evil, man and God. Both have had the same exposure to religion, mostly. Which means church on holidays and when grandparents are in town. So, where does spirituality and God come from?
Like we’ve talked about before, growing up like we did made us REALLY good salespeople. So, I’ll take that. It made us conscious of other’s feelings and how we affect others with our actions. That’s a good thing. Um, that might be it. (I’m also pretty “high” on cold medicine right now, I’ve got the WORST summer cold, so there might be other things. I don’t think so, but maybe. So I’ll ponder some more and get back to you if I think of anything.)
Anyway, I’m not sure that I expressed very well exactly how I feel about all of this. It’s the first time I’ve ever put words to it. I’m sure I’ll be editing this later, but for now, it’s what I know.
(P.S. Coincidentally, The Boy started school at a Catholic elementary yesterday. He’s excited to be going, especially since Mass is a part of the school day on Fridays. When The Teenager found out that he was attending Catholic School, her only comment was, “He’ll turn into a dick for sure now.” If that doesn’t sum up their religious views succinctly, I don’t know what does, ha!)
(P.P.S. The Boy is going to private school because of the class size, 30 vs. 14. Hands down, easy choice.)